










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 312 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
958 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,496 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 925 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2114 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2032 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1425 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $544,074 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 260 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | 𝕯𝖔𝖌𝖒𝖆 | 31% | 32 |
| #12 | GbR_. | 20% | 10 |
| #13 | 155K | 20% | 15 |
| #14 | Propán-Bután | 17% | 18 |
| #15 | fitymafék kapitány | 10% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fitymafék kapitány | 6 | 0.0282 |
| #2 | Scrat | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | 𝕯𝖔𝖌𝖒𝖆 | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Propán-Bután | 3 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | Szipka | 2 | 0.0017 |





