










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 318 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 216 matches | ||
| Faceit | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4344 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,617 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5164 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4558 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4743 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5152 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,159,934 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 455 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faded ❟❛❟ | 57% | 47 |
| #2 | z | 57% | 306 |
| #3 | Teajohn | 55% | 251 |
| #4 | R33 | 54% | 127 |
| #5 | Uncle Buk | 54% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Uncle Buk | 54% | 123 |
| #6 | beans | 53% | 418 |
| #7 | d1nk | 51% | 35 |
| #8 | MUSquirel | 50% | 179 |
| #9 | onimaru | 36% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MUSquirel | 21 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Teajohn | 19 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | R33 | 18 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | beans | 16 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | d1nk | 8 | 0.0114 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beans | 790 | 0.09 | 19 min |
| #2 | Teajohn | 740 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #3 | R33 | 471 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #4 | MUSquirel | 302 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #5 | z | 283 | 0.04 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R33 | +1.96 | 75 | 62 |
| #2 | beans | +1.71 | 82 | 59 |
| #3 | z | +1.65 | 86 | 38 |
| #4 | d1nk | +1.29 | 85 | 67 |
| #5 | MUSquirel | +0.38 | 66 | 64 |





