








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 131 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1253 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,609 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2705 | 41% |
| Smokes | 2103 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 698 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 1103 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $474,476 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 284 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bodger and Badger's Mash | 50% | 10 |
| #2 | Harry | 48% | 33 |
| #3 | annyong | 48% | 133 |
| #4 | HONDAMAN | 47% | 30 |
| #5 | Bald | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Harry | 48% | 33 |
| #3 | annyong | 48% | 133 |
| #4 | HONDAMAN | 47% | 30 |
| #5 | Bald | 43% | 23 |
| #6 | Cement Smoker | 36% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cement Smoker | 9 | 0.0129 |
| #2 | annyong | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Bald | 5 | 0.0100 |
| #4 | HONDAMAN | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Harry | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | annyong | 317 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | Bald | 143 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #3 | Harry | 132 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | Cement Smoker | 126 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | HONDAMAN | 110 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bald | +4.76 | 86 | 66 |
| #2 | Harry | +2.04 | 72 | 59 |
| #3 | Cement Smoker | +1.75 | 54 | 66 |
| #4 | annyong | -0.18 | 44 | 49 |
| #5 | nooN - I need to shut the up | -1.06 | 46 | 54 |





