








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 893 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3359 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,994 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4877 | 44% |
| Smokes | 2629 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2218 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1270 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $312,820 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 912 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HOFF | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | Murmur | 58% | 66 |
| #3 | 𝕭𝖆𝖉 𝕭𝖔𝖞 💘 | 53% | 89 |
| #4 | Cement Smoker | 51% | 70 |
| #5 | HONDAMAN | 51% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Cement Smoker | 51% | 70 |
| #5 | HONDAMAN | 51% | 37 |
| #6 | annyong | 51% | 49 |
| #7 | nooN - I need to shut the up | 43% | 23 |
| #8 | Harry | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕭𝖆𝖉 𝕭𝖔𝖞 💘 | 35 | 0.0204 |
| #2 | Cement Smoker | 15 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | Murmur | 10 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | HONDAMAN | 4 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | HOFF | 3 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cement Smoker | 301 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #2 | nooN - I need to shut the up | 215 | 0.43 | 6 min |
| #3 | HONDAMAN | 145 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | HOFF | 136 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #5 | annyong | 132 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bald | +4.38 | 86 | 63 |
| #2 | Harry | +0.77 | 58 | 50 |
| #3 | Cement Smoker | +0.54 | 52 | 66 |
| #4 | nooN - I need to shut the up | -0.90 | 44 | 52 |
| #5 | annyong | -1.13 | 37 | 48 |





