








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 173 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2257 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,800 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2463 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2497 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1333 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1507 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $542,073 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 433 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Richard P. Nous | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | HOFF | 59% | 41 |
| #3 | annyong | 56% | 86 |
| #4 | Bodger and Badger's Mash | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | zakmp4 | 54% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bald | 11 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | annyong | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Harry | 3 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | HOFF | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | zakmp4 | 2 | 0.0073 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bald | 445 | 0.31 | 9 min |
| #2 | nooN - I need to shut the up | 287 | 0.41 | 8 min |
| #3 | annyong | 212 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | HOFF | 179 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #5 | Harry | 96 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Draulon | +3.82 | 91 | 63 |
| #2 | zakmp4 | +3.59 | 71 | 59 |
| #3 | Bald | +2.58 | 78 | 64 |
| #4 | Harry | +1.79 | 74 | 63 |
| #5 | Cement Smoker | +0.62 | 58 | 64 |





