








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
285 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,264 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 299 | 24% |
| Smokes | 385 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 292 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 288 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $84,654 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snakebyte | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | nich | 53% | 36 |
| #3 | Slatt Ryan | 53% | 40 |
| #4 | Scroncie | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | Chronic Samerpn | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Chronic Samerpn | 50% | 16 |
| #6 | Weegull | 45% | 11 |
| #7 | dDeeVo | 43% | 7 |
| #8 | nicojuro | 33% | 3 |
| #9 | Fish | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slatt Ryan | 4 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | nich | 4 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Weegull | 3 | 0.0126 |
| #4 | snakebyte | 1 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Scroncie | 1 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nich | 139 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | Slatt Ryan | 134 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | dDeeVo | 36 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #4 | snakebyte | 33 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Weegull | 31 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weegull | +7.52 | 82 | 62 |
| #2 | dDeeVo | +5.21 | 79 | 77 |
| #3 | nicojuro | +4.82 | 59 | 71 |
| #4 | snakebyte | +3.79 | 67 | 75 |
| #5 | nich | +3.09 | 60 | 60 |





