








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 65 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
980 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,098 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 427 | 14% |
| Smokes | 848 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 965 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 858 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $379,466 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tsaikov | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | Ren | 56% | 70 |
| #3 | Tomba | 53% | 76 |
| #4 | Potamochoerus porcus | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | IAmQuicker | 52% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Potamochoerus porcus | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | IAmQuicker | 52% | 102 |
| #6 | Yiijy | 47% | 15 |
| #7 | JSLatvala | 44% | 62 |
| #8 | Merren | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ren | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | IAmQuicker | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Tomba | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Potamochoerus porcus | 2 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IAmQuicker | 218 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | JSLatvala | 113 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Ren | 72 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Tomba | 68 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Tsaikov | 53 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ren | +1.89 | 80 | 57 |
| #2 | Tsaikov | +1.39 | 77 | 45 |
| #3 | Tomba | +0.34 | 72 | 57 |
| #4 | IAmQuicker | +0.07 | 56 | 60 |
| #5 | JSLatvala | -0.21 | 55 | 55 |





