








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 659 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 353 matches | ||
| Wingman | 113 matches | ||
| Faceit | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




115 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6075 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,984 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3311 | 19% |
| Smokes | 5534 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3466 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4673 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,433,830 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1214 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil Päärynä | 56% | 70 |
| #2 | IAmQuicker | 54% | 192 |
| #3 | Kyösti2k | 52% | 42 |
| #4 | Tsaikov | 52% | 209 |
| #5 | Tomba | 51% | 172 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tsaikov | 466 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #2 | IAmQuicker | 326 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | JEZU | 250 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | Tomba | 185 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | palep ت | 174 | 0.11 | 4 min |





