








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
174 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 775 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 212 | 27% |
| Smokes | 184 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 242 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 137 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $33,993 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vladimiroff | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | слава белой расе | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | tanko 1 | 47% | 15 |
| #4 | Botalert | 47% | 15 |
| #5 | Оливие Шампен | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vladimiroff | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | слава белой расе | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | tanko 1 | 47% | 15 |
| #4 | Botalert | 47% | 15 |
| #5 | Оливие Шампен | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tanko 1 | 2 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Botalert | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Botalert | 159 | 0.48 | 4 min |
| #2 | tanko 1 | 47 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | Оливие Шампен | 18 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | vladimiroff | 9 | 0.24 | 0 min |
| #5 | слава белой расе | 7 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | слава белой расе | +3.26 | 61 | 82 |
| #2 | vladimiroff | +2.30 | 60 | 54 |
| #3 | Оливие Шампен | +0.46 | 57 | 52 |
| #4 | tanko 1 | -0.68 | 53 | 72 |
| #5 | Flawless Expert | -0.76 | 57 | 68 |





