








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 331 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 194 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2057 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,256 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1808 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1304 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1521 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1623 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,043,196 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cameronthom | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | NubbyNubs | 59% | 27 |
| #3 | Arksoo | 55% | 33 |
| #4 | SooYung | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | Tim Stryker | 50% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sir Shanks Alot | 25 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | The Heathen | 22 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | Lebanon James | 9 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Edzy | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | m1 | 4 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sir Shanks Alot | 901 | 0.28 | 27 min |
| #2 | Lebanon James | 499 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #3 | The Heathen | 482 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #4 | m1 | 423 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #5 | Edzy | 192 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SooYung | +1.30 | 78 | 73 |
| #2 | Arksoo | +0.95 | 75 | 57 |
| #3 | e. | +0.91 | 54 | 64 |
| #4 | Sir Shanks Alot | +0.75 | 52 | 80 |
| #5 | Edzy | -0.52 | 63 | 59 |





