








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 280 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 160 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 3 different maps



Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1328 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,411 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2546 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1887 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1235 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1743 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $318,577 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 98 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iDeeCee | 50% | 10 |
| #2 | m1 | 46% | 63 |
| #3 | Lebanon James | 38% | 159 |
| #4 | e. | 38% | 159 |
| #5 | Edzy | 36% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Heathen | 16 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Lebanon James | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | e. | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Edzy | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | m1 | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lebanon James | 408 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | e. | 380 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #3 | The Heathen | 380 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | m1 | 297 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #5 | Edzy | 176 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | e. | +0.79 | 54 | 67 |
| #2 | Sir Shanks Alot | +0.71 | 52 | 77 |
| #3 | m1 | -0.41 | 58 | 61 |
| #4 | Edzy | -0.70 | 63 | 59 |
| #5 | Lebanon James | -0.86 | 61 | 59 |





