








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 168 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 253 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2740 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,844 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4178 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2789 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2766 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2111 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $691,402 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flej | 55% | 29 |
| #2 | Blue D. | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | Neuthan | 52% | 67 |
| #4 | el flambo | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | Shaggy | 52% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | el flambo | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | Shaggy | 52% | 27 |
| #6 | Niels | 52% | 58 |
| #7 | Daphne | 39% | 36 |
| #8 | Frolo | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shaggy | 5 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | Blue D. | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Neuthan | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Flej | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Niels | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Niels | 304 | 0.26 | 9 min |
| #2 | Neuthan | 185 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | Daphne | 145 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | Blue D. | 81 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Shaggy | 55 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daphne | +2.30 | 66 | 78 |
| #2 | Blue D. | +1.46 | 78 | 69 |
| #3 | Niels | +0.48 | 67 | 83 |
| #4 | el flambo | -0.31 | 58 | 46 |
| #5 | Flej | -0.39 | 49 | 57 |





