








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 723 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1134 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 149 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10177 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 58,134 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14885 | 26% |
| Smokes | 16208 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 14111 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 12930 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,966,671 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 745 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ElMugu | 52% | 67 |
| #3 | DeadPool | 52% | 292 |
| #4 | Daphne | 50% | 439 |
| #5 | Niels | 49% | 831 |
| #6 | Flej | 48% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Niels | 33 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Daphne | 17 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | DeadPool | 12 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | ElMugu | 7 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Flej | 4 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Niels | 4228 | 0.24 | 121 min |
| #2 | Daphne | 1288 | 0.14 | 39 min |
| #3 | DeadPool | 712 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| #4 | ElMugu | 332 | 0.25 | 10 min |
| #5 | Flej | 192 | 0.08 | 5 min |





