








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 229 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2333 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,919 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2182 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2357 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1730 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1650 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $854,168 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ethor | 48% | 44 |
| #2 | AlpacaBowl | 43% | 249 |
| #3 | Melon.jpg | 42% | 26 |
| #4 | Nepsy | 42% | 55 |
| #5 | jonners | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AlpacaBowl | 824 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #2 | Nepsy | 152 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | La Flame | 139 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Yayhe | 106 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | Melon.jpg | 103 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jonners | +4.49 | 87 | 60 |
| #2 | Ethor | +3.86 | 75 | 66 |
| #3 | Nepsy | +2.43 | 85 | 66 |
| #4 | Yayhe | +0.70 | 50 | 68 |
| #5 | Poop | +0.11 | 68 | 58 |





