








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 182 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 194 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3488 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,371 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2197 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2418 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3015 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3741 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $760,175 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 950 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪baitN | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | Ludwig | 59% | 39 |
| #3 | 𒉭CKNMeister𒉭 | 56% | 134 |
| #4 | V1nd1ca | 56% | 68 |
| #5 | Le fishe au chocolat | 53% | 158 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knights Templar | 468 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #2 | phlrii | 415 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #3 | V1nd1ca | 157 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | 𒉭CKNMeister𒉭 | 146 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | ✪baitN | 110 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phlrii | +4.03 | 74 | 62 |
| #2 | ✪baitN | +2.84 | 67 | 69 |
| #3 | Scarecrow | +1.78 | 72 | 60 |
| #4 | Knights Templar | +1.64 | 73 | 69 |
| #5 | 𒉭CKNMeister𒉭 | -0.39 | 60 | 50 |





