










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
943 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,089 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 341 | 16% |
| Smokes | 658 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 486 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 604 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $511,176 of utility $265 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 105 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Proper Chuffed Geeza | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | Tom the Red Dragon | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | Fremlin | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | Jake lander | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | helix drago | 42% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Fremlin | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | Jake lander | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | helix drago | 42% | 55 |
| #6 | Coolbluebanana | 20% | 5 |
| #7 | big fudge | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tom the Red Dragon | 4 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | Jake lander | 3 | 0.0144 |
| #3 | helix drago | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Fremlin | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | helix drago | 142 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Tom the Red Dragon | 47 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Fremlin | 34 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Coolbluebanana | 9 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | Jake lander | 8 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | helix drago | +1.45 | 70 | 51 |
| #2 | Fremlin | +1.12 | 60 | 44 |
| #3 | Xi Jinpinger | +0.57 | 69 | 53 |
| #4 | Jake lander | -0.88 | 56 | 13 |
| #5 | Tom the Red Dragon | -2.09 | 29 | 42 |





