








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 49 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 66 matches | ||
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3607 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,829 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4164 | 42% |
| Smokes | 2080 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1464 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2121 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,037,753 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fire At Will | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | Somewhat | 56% | 135 |
| #3 | skeltal (milk man) | 53% | 222 |
| #4 | Nat | 53% | 194 |
| #5 | Jakeomonk | 51% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Wuts kraken | 46% | 52 |
| #7 | mion | 45% | 55 |
| #8 | Morbrak | 44% | 98 |
| #9 | MaestrosCigar | 44% | 73 |
| #10 | Erky | 41% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skeltal (milk man) | 20 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Nat | 15 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Jakeomonk | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Morbrak | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | MaestrosCigar | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nat | 710 | 0.18 | 20 min |
| #2 | Somewhat | 454 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #3 | Morbrak | 355 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #4 | skeltal (milk man) | 276 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #5 | Jakeomonk | 261 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Somewhat | +2.68 | 71 | 75 |
| #2 | Jakeomonk | +2.64 | 82 | 44 |
| #3 | Chrae | +1.85 | 61 | 57 |
| #4 | Nat | +1.21 | 65 | 72 |
| #5 | skeltal (milk man) | +0.67 | 71 | 42 |





