








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 367 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1120 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,102 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 199 | 9% |
| Smokes | 451 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 333 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1119 | 53% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,472,379 of utility $360 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 210 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | | Bait Master | | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | | St0rm_ | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | DC299 | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | cato | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Rena | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | | Bait Master | | 510 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #2 | cato | 215 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | | St0rm_ | 128 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Rena | 89 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | gui | 68 | 0.11 | 2 min |





