








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
472 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,022 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 192 | 19% |
| Smokes | 306 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 244 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 280 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $202,461 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LarNo | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | Dewey | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | sc | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | twitch.tv/r0vka | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | Kotton | 57% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Curious Case | 50% | 32 |
| #10 | eimnt_ | 33% | 3 |
| #11 | Gitas Sabolevskis | 33% | 3 |
| #12 | Haiten | 25% | 12 |
| #13 | heelik- | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Curious Case | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | stand0ne | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Dewey | 2 | 0.0136 |
| #4 | heelik- | 2 | 0.0253 |
| #5 | Bombardier | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Curious Case | 58 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | stand0ne | 35 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | LarNo | 27 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #4 | Operas | 25 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dewey | 20 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sc | +5.76 | 91 | 85 |
| #2 | twitch.tv/r0vka | +3.01 | 44 | 95 |
| #3 | Dewey | +2.80 | 51 | 74 |
| #4 | stand0ne | +0.90 | 59 | 53 |
| #5 | enjoy the ment | +0.67 | 67 | 51 |





