








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 262 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2026 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,732 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 628 | 17% |
| Smokes | 923 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1249 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 932 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,036,461 of utility $238 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaegerbomb | 48% | 186 |
| #2 | 始めましょう Ray Charles | 48% | 40 |
| #3 | 헌초 | 47% | 191 |
| #4 | Wayne 瑋宸 | 45% | 208 |
| #5 | El Jefe | 42% | 170 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 헌초 | 615 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #2 | Wayne 瑋宸 | 534 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #3 | Jaegerbomb | 357 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | El Jefe | 128 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | 始めましょう Ray Charles | 23 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaegerbomb | +2.86 | 78 | 58 |
| #2 | Commander Erwin Smith | +0.99 | 69 | 48 |
| #3 | Wayne 瑋宸 | -0.15 | 53 | 67 |
| #4 | 헌초 | -1.05 | 57 | 64 |
| #5 | El Jefe | -1.57 | 46 | 42 |





