








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 346 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1981 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,722 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2792 | 42% |
| Smokes | 1522 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1667 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 741 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $836,156 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 始めましょう Ray Charles | 59% | 39 |
| #2 | Jaegerbomb | 47% | 219 |
| #3 | Commander Erwin Smith | 47% | 191 |
| #4 | Wayne 瑋宸 | 45% | 245 |
| #5 | El Jefe | 41% | 188 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaegerbomb | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | El Jefe | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Commander Erwin Smith | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Wayne 瑋宸 | 2 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wayne 瑋宸 | 644 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #2 | Jaegerbomb | 434 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | Commander Erwin Smith | 180 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #4 | El Jefe | 138 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | 始めましょう Ray Charles | 28 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaegerbomb | +2.65 | 80 | 58 |
| #2 | Commander Erwin Smith | +1.12 | 70 | 48 |
| #3 | Wayne 瑋宸 | -0.11 | 54 | 67 |
| #4 | 헌초 | -0.75 | 58 | 64 |
| #5 | El Jefe | -1.27 | 49 | 39 |





