








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 113 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 69 matches | ||
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1808 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,610 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 711 | 13% |
| Smokes | 2698 | 48% |
| HE Grenades | 1571 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 630 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $544,024 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 始めましょう Ray Charles | 49% | 39 |
| #2 | bloh | 42% | 33 |
| #3 | Jaegerbomb | 42% | 210 |
| #4 | Commander Erwin Smith | 42% | 170 |
| #5 | 헌초 | 41% | 188 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 헌초 | 12 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Jaegerbomb | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Wayne 瑋宸 | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Commander Erwin Smith | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | VietBong | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wayne 瑋宸 | 609 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #2 | 헌초 | 596 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #3 | Jaegerbomb | 416 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | VietBong | 185 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #5 | Commander Erwin Smith | 183 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaegerbomb | +2.38 | 75 | 57 |
| #2 | VietBong | +1.60 | 66 | 72 |
| #3 | Commander Erwin Smith | +0.60 | 68 | 48 |
| #4 | bloh | +0.22 | 79 | 46 |
| #5 | Wayne 瑋宸 | -0.02 | 53 | 67 |





