








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 58 matches | ||
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1388 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,461 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1383 | 31% |
| Smokes | 961 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1429 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 688 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $339,731 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MustardRain2 | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | de519ned | 47% | 62 |
| #3 | WasteMan | 43% | 14 |
| #4 | MrUglyFucker | 42% | 36 |
| #5 | Phelps - | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | de519ned | 6 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | MrUglyFucker | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Shrimp_98 | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | MustardRain2 | 2 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | de519ned | 85 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | Shrimp_98 | 57 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #3 | MrUglyFucker | 52 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | WasteMan | 42 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | MustardRain2 | 40 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phelps - | +4.08 | 73 | 28 |
| #2 | MustardRain2 | +3.94 | 57 | 35 |
| #3 | Crumble | +3.04 | 37 | 56 |
| #4 | MrUglyFucker | +2.09 | 80 | 43 |
| #5 | de519ned | +0.65 | 36 | 27 |





