








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
671 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,574 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 715 | 28% |
| Smokes | 994 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 630 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 235 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $101,152 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 287 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | de519ned | 44% | 9 |
| #2 | Crumble | 43% | 14 |
| #3 | Shrimp_98 | 35% | 43 |
| #4 | Dayni5h | 24% | 17 |
| #5 | Nizlle | 21% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Shrimp_98 | 35% | 43 |
| #4 | Dayni5h | 24% | 17 |
| #5 | Nizlle | 21% | 14 |
| #6 | Bunta | 17% | 12 |
| #7 | MrUglyFucker | 0% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nizlle | 6 | 0.0221 |
| #2 | Dayni5h | 2 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | Crumble | 1 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | de519ned | 1 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | MrUglyFucker | 1 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shrimp_98 | 26 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #2 | Bunta | 26 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | Crumble | 25 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | Dayni5h | 23 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | Nizlle | 21 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrUglyFucker | +4.63 | 80 | 56 |
| #2 | de519ned | +3.85 | 45 | 20 |
| #3 | Crumble | +1.63 | 42 | 46 |
| #4 | Bunta | +0.25 | 54 | 60 |
| #5 | Dayni5h | -1.48 | 31 | 33 |





