








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 384 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 76 matches | ||
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2284 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,245 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2546 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1469 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1445 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1785 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $699,133 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karl | 63% | 32 |
| #2 | W3ll1 | 58% | 141 |
| #3 | DasFaktum | 56% | 39 |
| #4 | CrystalChris | 56% | 54 |
| #5 | Nanski | 55% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Nanski | 55% | 40 |
| #6 | Reufel | 55% | 137 |
| #7 | Haschnatesch | 52% | 21 |
| #8 | cozy Moe | 51% | 88 |
| #9 | Blizzard Pinguin | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | W3ll1 | 16 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Reufel | 13 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | CrystalChris | 7 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | cozy Moe | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Haschnatesch | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reufel | 385 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | CrystalChris | 334 | 0.31 | 12 min |
| #3 | W3ll1 | 332 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #4 | cozy Moe | 137 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | Karl | 123 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CrystalChris | +2.46 | 85 | 69 |
| #2 | Nanski | +2.14 | 76 | 65 |
| #3 | W3ll1 | +1.74 | 63 | 52 |
| #4 | LubiusBarke | +0.35 | 71 | 68 |
| #5 | Reufel | +0.16 | 52 | 62 |





