








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 427 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 364 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5620 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,735 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7389 | 44% |
| Smokes | 3178 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2073 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 4095 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,100,449 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 328 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alakazam | 79% | 73 |
| #2 | kdog | 73% | 95 |
| #3 | BananaFish | 70% | 81 |
| #4 | cel | 69% | 55 |
| #5 | OkayKris | 68% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dittowill | 770 | 0.14 | 24 min |
| #2 | Artey | 304 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | BananaFish | 299 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | kdog | 293 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #5 | Alakazam | 241 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alakazam | +3.54 | 81 | 66 |
| #2 | dittowill | +3.18 | 82 | 68 |
| #3 | suds | +3.07 | 91 | 61 |
| #4 | kdog | +1.69 | 83 | 66 |
| #5 | BananaFish | +0.88 | 79 | 52 |





