








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 163 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1915 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,023 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1484 | 37% |
| Smokes | 944 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 478 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1117 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $519,103 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kdog | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | cel | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | dittowill | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | suds | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | OkayKris | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | suds | 404 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #2 | OkayKris | 236 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | dittowill | 235 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | kdog | 181 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | cel | 165 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dittowill | +3.04 | 81 | 68 |
| #2 | BananaFish | +1.53 | 79 | 56 |
| #3 | suds | +1.17 | 89 | 63 |
| #4 | OkayKris | +0.81 | 74 | 60 |
| #5 | kdog | +0.76 | 75 | 70 |





