








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 97 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
641 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,094 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 282 | 26% |
| Smokes | 297 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 201 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 314 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $156,789 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Griff | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | Choo Choo | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | mad3sto | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | 5ushi | 67% | 30 |
| #5 | Regent | 63% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 5ushi | 67% | 30 |
| #5 | Regent | 63% | 8 |
| #6 | Lekey Zeke | 62% | 13 |
| #7 | rawboner | 55% | 11 |
| #8 | m1nt | 55% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lekey Zeke | 3 | 0.0113 |
| #2 | m1nt | 3 | 0.0129 |
| #3 | 5ushi | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Griff | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | rawboner | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5ushi | 140 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #2 | Lekey Zeke | 85 | 0.32 | 2 min |
| #3 | rawboner | 32 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | mad3sto | 32 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | Griff | 21 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Regent | +2.99 | 64 | 78 |
| #2 | Lekey Zeke | +2.92 | 73 | 69 |
| #3 | 5ushi | +2.36 | 83 | 68 |
| #4 | m1nt | +1.89 | 84 | 41 |
| #5 | Sean- | +1.80 | 76 | 38 |





