








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 162 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1023 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,464 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 363 | 25% |
| Smokes | 286 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 439 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 376 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $155,542 of utility $45 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 181 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | METAL ROACH | 48% | 62 |
| #2 | Cinnamon Buns | 39% | 152 |
| #3 | Lylou | 39% | 31 |
| #4 | Cosmic | 36% | 11 |
| #5 | One Armed Bandit | 35% | 156 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cinnamon Buns | 12 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | One Armed Bandit | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | SkaBooM!!! | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Cosmic | 2 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | METAL ROACH | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | METAL ROACH | +8.40 | 73 | 54 |
| #2 | Cosmic | +2.53 | 68 | 30 |
| #3 | Lylou | +1.72 | 36 | 27 |
| #4 | Cinnamon Buns | +0.26 | 32 | 69 |
| #5 | Mozzarella Fox | +0.11 | 37 | 33 |





