








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1234 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,768 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1008 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1147 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1410 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1203 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $252,943 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kukPEEK | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | Nais | 56% | 61 |
| #3 | Gabbaren | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | fank | 50% | 66 |
| #5 | Kraiss | 46% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Gabbaren | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | fank | 50% | 66 |
| #5 | Kraiss | 46% | 41 |
| #6 | KrabbiN | 46% | 52 |
| #7 | Prins | 42% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nais | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | fank | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | KrabbiN | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Kraiss | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Prins | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fank | 175 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | KrabbiN | 88 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Nais | 66 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Kraiss | 61 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Prins | 49 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fank | +2.35 | 66 | 62 |
| #2 | kukPEEK | +1.73 | 47 | 60 |
| #3 | SlaktarN | +0.42 | 64 | 61 |
| #4 | KrabbiN | -0.12 | 60 | 68 |
| #5 | Nais | -0.16 | 64 | 50 |





