








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
221 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,203 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 331 | 28% |
| Smokes | 297 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 222 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 353 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $70,857 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mAKKEp | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | Puoski | 66% | 44 |
| #3 | Korva7 | 65% | 17 |
| #4 | Uncle_Ownage | 63% | 19 |
| #5 | fluid | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mAKKEp | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | Puoski | 66% | 44 |
| #3 | Korva7 | 65% | 17 |
| #4 | Uncle_Ownage | 63% | 19 |
| #5 | fluid | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Puoski | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Puoski | 68 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | Uncle_Ownage | 55 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | mAKKEp | 23 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | Korva7 | 18 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | fluid | 14 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Puoski | +4.36 | 81 | 59 |
| #2 | mAKKEp | +0.90 | 68 | 70 |
| #3 | fluid | +0.52 | 69 | 73 |
| #4 | Uncle_Ownage | -0.05 | 48 | 70 |
| #5 | Korva7 | -1.27 | 50 | 56 |





