








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
530 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,782 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 496 | 28% |
| Smokes | 461 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 412 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 413 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $106,829 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mAKKEp | 76% | 17 |
| #2 | Epicus | 66% | 44 |
| #3 | iemeli | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | Korva7 | 59% | 27 |
| #5 | Uncle_Ownage | 56% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Epicus | 66% | 44 |
| #3 | iemeli | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | Korva7 | 59% | 27 |
| #5 | Uncle_Ownage | 56% | 34 |
| #6 | fluid | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Korva7 | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Epicus | 116 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #2 | Uncle_Ownage | 85 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | fluid | 27 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Korva7 | 26 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | mAKKEp | 25 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Puoski | +3.09 | 84 | 60 |
| #2 | iemeli | +1.74 | 75 | 69 |
| #3 | mAKKEp | +0.41 | 67 | 71 |
| #4 | Uncle_Ownage | -0.44 | 53 | 67 |
| #5 | fluid | -0.73 | 54 | 70 |





