








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
154 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 594 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 151 | 25% |
| Smokes | 168 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 142 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 133 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $39,647 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iemeli | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Korva7 | 80% | 15 |
| #3 | Puoski | 76% | 17 |
| #4 | Uncle_Ownage | 76% | 17 |
| #5 | Epicus | 73% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Korva7 | 80% | 15 |
| #3 | Puoski | 76% | 17 |
| #4 | Uncle_Ownage | 76% | 17 |
| #5 | Epicus | 73% | 15 |
| #6 | fluid | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Puoski | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Epicus | 88 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #2 | Puoski | 59 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | Uncle_Ownage | 57 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | Korva7 | 19 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | fluid | 8 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iemeli | +4.17 | 54 | 72 |
| #2 | Puoski | +2.42 | 81 | 65 |
| #3 | Uncle_Ownage | +0.60 | 47 | 69 |
| #4 | mAKKEp | +0.41 | 67 | 71 |
| #5 | Epicus | -0.38 | 34 | 75 |





