








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3760 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,691 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1729 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2454 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2739 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 769 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,085,568 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 120 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | an actual chicken | 45% | 22 |
| #10 | Creodus | 44% | 39 |
| #11 | 𝖙𝖍ane | 43% | 28 |
| #12 | Timoteus | 42% | 24 |
| #13 | HanaVesiGoblin | 28% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bootsandals | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Creodus | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | HERR JÜRGEN | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | 𝖙𝖍ane | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | HAUKKA | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bootsandals | 355 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #2 | HERR JÜRGEN | 154 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | HAUKKA | 97 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | V4iski | 93 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Johannes | 82 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Konkeli | +3.51 | 79 | 57 |
| #2 | suRma | +2.36 | 72 | 67 |
| #3 | an actual chicken | +1.64 | 66 | 61 |
| #4 | MikyliX | +1.60 | 81 | 56 |
| #5 | bootsandals | +1.56 | 76 | 62 |





