








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 518 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4922 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,427 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2217 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1852 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2217 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2141 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,898,474 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 446 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Konkeli | 16 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | NikiMinaj95 | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Buf0 | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | MikyliX | 5 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | Naapurin Weirdo | 1 | 0.0007 |





