








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 135 matches | ||
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3459 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,860 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2269 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2524 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3542 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2525 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $862,529 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TwixFlexx | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | Shady ♚ | 58% | 100 |
| #3 | Voltage | 56% | 249 |
| #4 | ;] | 54% | 296 |
| #5 | Prusakz | 53% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Voltage | 56% | 249 |
| #4 | ;] | 54% | 296 |
| #5 | Prusakz | 53% | 125 |
| #6 | FORSERIS. | 50% | 121 |
| #7 | ム Wøøkie | 43% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ;] | 17 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Prusakz | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Voltage | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | FORSERIS. | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Shady ♚ | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ;] | 554 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #2 | Voltage | 491 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #3 | FORSERIS. | 268 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | ム Wøøkie | 228 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #5 | Shady ♚ | 196 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shady ♚ | +2.21 | 84 | 50 |
| #2 | ム Wøøkie | +2.09 | 81 | 70 |
| #3 | FORSERIS. | +1.92 | 70 | 65 |
| #4 | ;] | +1.50 | 92 | 57 |
| #5 | BooLv | -0.69 | 75 | 57 |





