








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 403 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 172 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1789 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,240 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1183 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1655 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 580 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 822 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $860,351 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LΞGΞND • | 74% | 23 |
| #2 | nam0n | 55% | 92 |
| #3 | Kimbo | 55% | 105 |
| #4 | Paco | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | Abne | 50% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Kimbo | 55% | 105 |
| #4 | Paco | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | Abne | 50% | 42 |
| #6 | Raske Shades q8) | 42% | 76 |
| #7 | chody | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raske Shades q8) | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Paco | 5 | 0.0108 |
| #3 | nam0n | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Abne | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Kimbo | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raske Shades q8) | 446 | 0.29 | 11 min |
| #2 | nam0n | 255 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Abne | 78 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Kimbo | 67 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | chody | 50 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raske Shades q8) | +3.48 | 68 | 75 |
| #2 | Paco | +2.08 | 86 | 70 |
| #3 | chody | +1.45 | 67 | 61 |
| #4 | Setralin 2000mg | +0.42 | 66 | 42 |
| #5 | LΞGΞND • | +0.21 | 67 | 56 |





