








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 892 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 318 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 68 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6007 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,742 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9332 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5621 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 8294 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 6495 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $834,159 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 500 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | philty | 58% | 33 |
| #2 | kash | 52% | 31 |
| #3 | Wonderchild Kirderf | 51% | 87 |
| #4 | Bend Over | 50% | 44 |
| #5 | Ea Sports | 50% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | nam0n | 47% | 156 |
| #8 | Abne | 46% | 196 |
| #9 | LΞGΞND • | 46% | 105 |
| #10 | Setralin 2000mg | 42% | 76 |
| #11 | Paco | 39% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Abne | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Kimbo | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | LΞGΞND • | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | nam0n | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Paco | 4 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wonderchild Kirderf | 388 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #2 | nam0n | 376 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | Abne | 346 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | LΞGΞND • | 226 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | Paco | 126 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raske Shades q8) | +3.00 | 67 | 73 |
| #2 | Wonderchild Kirderf | +1.31 | 57 | 68 |
| #3 | kash | +0.86 | 85 | 60 |
| #4 | philty | +0.03 | 63 | 63 |
| #5 | Paco | -0.30 | 81 | 62 |





