








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 193 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2288 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,737 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4929 | 39% |
| Smokes | 2249 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2508 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3051 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $547,371 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 550 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Raske Shades q8) | 47% | 156 |
| #10 | Kimbo | 47% | 212 |
| #11 | Abne | 45% | 88 |
| #12 | Paco | 37% | 27 |
| #13 | chody | 33% | 21 |





