








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 218 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 170 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2451 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,289 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3303 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2219 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1662 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2105 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $770,273 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 346 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joosh | 45% | 47 |
| #2 | VashChi | 43% | 68 |
| #3 | Knights | 41% | 46 |
| #4 | engasaL | 38% | 16 |
| #5 | SemenDemon2 | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | VashChi | 43% | 68 |
| #3 | Knights | 41% | 46 |
| #4 | engasaL | 38% | 16 |
| #5 | SemenDemon2 | 33% | 18 |
| #6 | RICKY | 33% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knights | 6 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | VashChi | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Joosh | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | engasaL | 2 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | RICKY | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VashChi | 328 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #2 | Knights | 153 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | Joosh | 111 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | RICKY | 63 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | SemenDemon2 | 14 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knights | +1.85 | 72 | 62 |
| #2 | VashChi | +0.03 | 68 | 70 |
| #3 | locked0n | -0.66 | 71 | 60 |
| #4 | RICKY | -0.89 | 67 | 67 |
| #5 | Joosh | -1.11 | 67 | 57 |





