








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 257 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1913 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,517 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1216 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1629 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1572 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1100 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $909,342 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 215 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ramza | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | Aco | 74% | 23 |
| #3 | buttermoe | 73% | 30 |
| #4 | Hobo:) | 72% | 50 |
| #5 | Blayze00 | 67% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tysaal3498 | 12 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | buttermoe | 5 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | Blayze00 | 4 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | c4ve | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Джек | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hobo:) | 183 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | buttermoe | 136 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #3 | Aco | 74 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Blayze00 | 64 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | tysaal3498 | 40 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hobo:) | +4.64 | 93 | 56 |
| #2 | Aco | +2.40 | 59 | 70 |
| #3 | denny | +1.19 | 67 | 71 |
| #4 | Austie | +0.92 | 66 | 54 |
| #5 | tysaal3498 | +0.74 | 72 | 31 |





