








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 518 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4433 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,903 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3438 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3106 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1459 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1900 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $823,500 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 366 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Austie | 72% | 50 |
| #2 | Aco | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | buttermoe | 61% | 61 |
| #4 | Blayze00 | 57% | 35 |
| #5 | IBeLegit:) | 56% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | hipposaver | 52% | 44 |
| #8 | Mustang | 50% | 40 |
| #9 | Bimmbino | 47% | 17 |
| #10 | 1nfin1ty | 47% | 15 |
| #11 | xpERIENCE | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tysaal3498 | 25 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | buttermoe | 12 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | Austie | 5 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Blayze00 | 4 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | 1nfin1ty | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | buttermoe | 280 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #2 | hipposaver | 167 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | Mustang | 143 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | xpERIENCE | 109 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | Austie | 69 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hobo:) | +3.86 | 92 | 58 |
| #2 | Aco | +1.33 | 52 | 62 |
| #3 | hipposaver | +1.18 | 95 | 65 |
| #4 | Austie | +0.90 | 68 | 43 |
| #5 | Mustang | +0.74 | 68 | 74 |





