








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2220 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 334 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 186 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 183 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 197 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




129 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14490 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 40,563 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11935 | 29% |
| Smokes | 8148 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 12255 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 8225 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,952,624 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7571 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | gweg | 55% | 142 |
| #5 | 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖉 | 55% | 146 |
| #6 | dragonboss | 54% | 357 |
| #7 | bast froman | 53% | 195 |
| #8 | CornBread | 51% | 160 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wocky slush 4L | 45 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | LKozi | 35 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | dragonboss | 31 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | bast froman | 17 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | CornBread | 12 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wocky slush 4L | 1373 | 0.16 | 35 min |
| #2 | dragonboss | 1085 | 0.15 | 24 min |
| #3 | LKozi | 811 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #4 | bast froman | 653 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #5 | gweg | 526 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jorge | +2.49 | 76 | 64 |
| #2 | dragonboss | +2.19 | 71 | 56 |
| #3 | 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖉 | +2.12 | 78 | 56 |
| #4 | LKozi | +0.75 | 53 | 61 |
| #5 | bast froman | +0.75 | 70 | 62 |





