








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 620 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 318 matches | ||
| Faceit | 80 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4261 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,156 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3924 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4212 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2941 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2079 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,752,426 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naminami | 48% | 332 |
| #2 | McJohanson | 46% | 432 |
| #3 | Morsokki | 45% | 288 |
| #4 | Boblin | 44% | 216 |
| #5 | elmeri | 43% | 168 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | McJohanson | 46% | 432 |
| #3 | Morsokki | 45% | 288 |
| #4 | Boblin | 44% | 216 |
| #5 | elmeri | 43% | 168 |
| #6 | keinä | 35% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McJohanson | 12 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | naminami | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Boblin | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | elmeri | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Morsokki | 1 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McJohanson | 1157 | 0.13 | 30 min |
| #2 | Morsokki | 969 | 0.16 | 24 min |
| #3 | naminami | 800 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #4 | elmeri | 410 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #5 | Boblin | 374 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leka | +0.92 | 66 | 57 |
| #2 | elmeri | +0.22 | 69 | 65 |
| #3 | keinä | +0.13 | 49 | 60 |
| #4 | Morsokki | -0.39 | 57 | 61 |
| #5 | McJohanson | -0.82 | 48 | 60 |





