










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 168 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
747 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,794 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 981 | 35% |
| Smokes | 537 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 753 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 523 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $286,743 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gauchox | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | CaMzErItOoO | 61% | 23 |
| #3 | Xx_ShegueyVaRap_xX UwU | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | Skunk | 58% | 12 |
| #5 | XChaussette | 57% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Abracadabroutch' | 50% | 8 |
| #7 | claD | 50% | 10 |
| #8 | ŠcraƁz | 46% | 13 |
| #9 | WaaX | xɐɐʍ | 40% | 5 |
| #10 | Lpg | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xx_ShegueyVaRap_xX UwU | 2 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Skunk | 2 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | XChaussette | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gauchox | 80 | 0.31 | 2 min |
| #2 | CaMzErItOoO | 47 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | XChaussette | 39 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Xx_ShegueyVaRap_xX UwU | 34 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | ŠcraƁz | 32 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CaMzErItOoO | +4.68 | 84 | 67 |
| #2 | Lpg | +3.88 | 48 | 64 |
| #3 | XChaussette | +1.39 | 64 | 50 |
| #4 | Gauchox | +1.17 | 36 | 76 |
| #5 | Skunk | +0.46 | 67 | 62 |





