








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 541 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 287 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4180 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,665 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5435 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5652 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3030 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3548 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,139,654 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 783 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | texoo | 69% | 32 |
| #2 | eddy | 63% | 101 |
| #3 | Siggi ツ | 62% | 29 |
| #4 | 夏洛克兑现. | 59% | 51 |
| #5 | SkiZ | 58% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Fabi_ | 53% | 99 |
| #13 | Shmilus | 49% | 75 |
| #14 | marce7💫 | 48% | 66 |
| #15 | Knuffelbär | 42% | 24 |
| #16 | MAx | 25% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eddy | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Shmilus | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Kontrabandist | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Fabi_ | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | SkiZ | 2 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kontrabandist | 291 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | sWAN_ | 279 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | cyberaser | 269 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | Fabi_ | 251 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | Shmilus | 239 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | texoo | +2.68 | 90 | 66 |
| #2 | sWAN_ | +2.06 | 69 | 66 |
| #3 | Siggi ツ | +1.64 | 59 | 56 |
| #4 | SOL1DUDE | +1.32 | 77 | 65 |
| #5 | Kontrabandist | +0.85 | 83 | 49 |





