








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 743 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 354 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3677 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,946 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2315 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3714 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 2913 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1004 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $918,862 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 492 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | TwoToes | 48% | 100 |
| #8 | Saber-Shark | 47% | 53 |
| #9 | Cockroach | 47% | 60 |
| #10 | Señor Vac | 43% | 23 |
| #11 | geckooo | 43% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cockroach | 15 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | FishindaBowl | 11 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Saber-Shark | 8 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | geckooo | 7 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | eneri | 6 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TwoToes | 210 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | Kaiju No. 8 | 96 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Cockroach | 91 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | FishindaBowl | 86 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Saber-Shark | 52 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ツ ReezyTheRaccoon ツ | +4.76 | 71 | 47 |
| #2 | TwoToes | +2.36 | 53 | 36 |
| #3 | sigbro62 | +1.88 | 79 | 28 |
| #4 | Kaiju No. 8 | +1.81 | 63 | 57 |
| #5 | earth lizard markus | +1.52 | 73 | 53 |





