








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 751 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 304 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6049 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,910 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5564 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4180 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 6111 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5055 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,372,776 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 139 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Yuumii_ | 49% | 85 |
| #7 | DeVo | 48% | 71 |
| #8 | Cafur | 47% | 177 |
| #9 | Sykai | 45% | 149 |
| #10 | Cookie | 43% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cafur | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Yuumii_ | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Sykai | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Simon | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | DeVo | 3 | 0.0020 |





