








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 799 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 428 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4644 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,905 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4776 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5922 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6253 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3954 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,605,368 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prof. Dr. DrimixX | 11 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Sykai | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Cookie | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | DeVo | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Yuumii_ | 5 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^knowing. | 660 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #2 | Yuumii_ | 542 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #3 | Prof. Dr. DrimixX | 476 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #4 | Sykai | 401 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #5 | Cookie | 318 | 0.04 | 9 min |





