








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 556 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 208 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4196 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,601 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1615 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2693 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3817 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 3476 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,031,149 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 250 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FlooseN | 63% | 84 |
| #2 | zSnexy | 55% | 55 |
| #3 | Simon | 52% | 58 |
| #4 | eXacT | 51% | 45 |
| #5 | Cafur | 51% | 171 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cafur | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Yuumii_ | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Prof. Dr. DrimixX | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | eXacT | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Sykai | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cafur | 581 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #2 | ^knowing. | 304 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | Yuumii_ | 302 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #4 | Prof. Dr. DrimixX | 258 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | Sykai | 238 | 0.09 | 6 min |





